True beauty: My photo being on the cover of European fashion and clothing magazines was no longer a dream for me, but a reality.
True beauty
My photo being on the cover of European fashion and clothing magazines was no longer a dream for me, but a reality. It was unbelievable! Being famous for being beautiful, earning a lot of money and traveling around the world was all I ever dreamed of. I no longer had to struggle to make ends meet. Now I could dine in my new home in Paris and drink wine to the health of my fame and fortune. Isn't that the meaning of life?
This article is the story of the transformation of one of the famous American models. A woman who traveled to 22 countries because of her job and her photo was featured in countless magazines. But the day he was on the hospital bed, he thought about what he was trying for and made a new decision for his life!
What is your opinion about beauty?
When I started working with Christian Dior in Paris at the age of 19, my idea of beauty was what other people thought of me. That is, if others would approve of me and hire me as a model, I would come to the conclusion that I am beautiful. This type of thinking was very dangerous because I was placing my personal worth and worthiness in the hands of others and their subjective perception.
Another thing that affected my view of my appearance was my socializing. I worked with the most beautiful women in the world who appeared in the best selling magazines. Since they were my friends, I thought that I must be as beautiful as them.
The third thing through which I made myself sure about my beauty was attracting men. I thought I was beautiful because so many handsome, smart and successful men were looking for me.
Pride is the bane of beauty
I was popular and also had many friends. As my success increased, more people knew me, now it was very easy to be invited to different parties and go wherever I wanted. So I tried to take care of my beauty due to having many friends and traveling.
As a result, I became a one-dimensional and self-centered person and spent most of my time on myself and only cared about myself. "To me", "myself" and "me" were my three favorite words. My whole life was focused on my appearance; My weight, my hair, my clothes and overall my attractiveness.
I once worked as a model in Japan for two months. They hired people to do everything for me every day, even tying my shoelaces. When I was getting dressed, someone was there to hold my dress or coat for me to put on. This strengthened my selfishness and sense of self-conceit.
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The beginning of a transformation
I became addicted to work. I worked seven days a week because I knew there was no guarantee; I could be unemployed the next day. I could lose my appearance at any moment, so I had to accept every job offer. I used to work in Germany during the day and in the evening I would fly to Paris for work and the next morning I would go back to Germany. I was afraid of losing everything, so I had to keep my job at all costs.
As a result, I fell ill. One day I fainted while shooting and injured my knee. For the first time in my career, I was hospitalized and my work was interrupted. Although this break only lasted for two weeks, it meant that I had to miss all the fashion shows I was selected to attend. I had to cancel fourteen shows and it was very bitter for me.
One day I thought about my life while I was lying in bed without being able to work. I asked myself about my values and opinion about beauty and what kind of person I have become inside. After hours of thinking, I came to the conclusion that my ideas about beauty are not logical. For example, I knew that my appearance would change. But in order for my program manager not to remove my photos from the list of selected tasks, I constantly tried to keep myself in good condition.
I also asked myself why people are really attracted to me. If I looked different or had a different job or if I had less money, would my boyfriend still love me for myself?
These questions and doubts affected me when I was at the height of my professional fame. I realized how superficial my concerns were and gradually I felt an emptiness inside. All the success and attention I was getting couldn't fill the void I felt inside.
what happened? Where were the things that were a priority for me? Who and what was I living for?
real beauty
A house on water!
It reminded me that I have built my life on things that are not safe. My life was based on what the culture of society thought, what my boyfriend thought, or how much I earned, or how popular I was. I realized that I am building my life on water.
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I remembered the days when I was in the state of Indiana, where I grew up. The song "Looking for Love in the Wrong Places" actually came in handy when a classmate invited me to a church concert. I accepted my classmate's invitation because half of the youth group was boys, and the church was huge so I knew it would be good fun. I believed that I did not need the presence of God in my life. What was the point? My parents were getting divorced. Their faith did not help them.
During the concert, in addition to the music, I also heard a message that touched me. At the end of the concert, the musicians told us that they have good news that they want to share with us. I thought they were going to tell us about their first record deal or something, but it turns out the news they were talking about was that God loves us.
They talked to us about having a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. That night I prayed a short prayer and asked Jesus to forgive my sins and change me. I told him that I will live for him and serve him with my life. I invited him to enter my life and start a relationship with me.
In search of true beauty
Now, years later, I was in the city of Paris and I was remembering that particular event and thinking to myself how I had reached such a point in my life, where life has lost its true meaning. I realized that I neglected my relationship with God and chose the wrong path. No wonder I felt so empty! So I asked God to forgive me because I had lived for myself and for the approval of others. I said to God: "Please change me and show me what true beauty is."
The first thing God showed me was the danger of self-righteousness, and I tried to fight it. In the United States, 20 billion dollars are spent annually on cosmetics, 300 million dollars on plastic surgery and 33 billion dollars on diet products. These numbers show how much money and time we spend on beauty. Arrogance is not beautiful.
Related to this, I used to constantly compare my appearance with other women. Jealousy was another problem that I had to try to solve. I had to learn to feel safe, despite who and what I am or how God made me. I had to learn that it doesn't matter how I look; The important thing is that God loves me.
What is beauty? Beauty is not physical appearance but what is inside your heart. Beauty is humility, although this trait is not very popular in my profession. Security and restraint are beautiful. Knowing God personally also brings beauty, because knowing that God loves and accepts you guarantees security and protection in your life. In this way, it enables you to freely accept yourself and your shortcomings.
Without God's forgiveness, our sin makes us ugly from the inside and robs us of true peace. All the "concealing" treatments available in the world cannot change this situation. Both God and others see it. Real inner beauty begins when God is placed in the center of our lives and this beauty gradually appears in our appearance.
